What an absolutely awful day! Could anyone tell? A co-worker of mine was concerned cause she wanted to know where the happy Chris was and so I whined a lot of just how hungry I was! I enjoyed the breakfast quite a bit - it was blueberries/banana oatmeal. About a 1/2 hour later it gave me heartburn. It really hurt, but I chugged some water and it went away quickly. That was pretty fast. I am thankful. Im having a really hard time putting down the lettuce. I got a bag full of carrots, celery and red bell peppers, but only ate half of the red bell peppers, and all of the carrots. Today we had a work event to have fun, we went bowling. Of course it was catered with a nice spread, I nibbled on watermelon and strawberries and had water. We each got two drink tickets and I happily gave those away. One of my co-workers walked passed me pretty close and I smelled his cocktail and I stopped hi and asked if I could just smelled it cause I just love the smell of whiskey (hey - i like what I like lol) It was during this time where things were pretty unbearable - the "hunger" pangs in my stomach were the worst I had ever felt. I don't even remember the juice fast even being this bad and I did that for three weeks. I kept drinking water and then try to nibble on some carrots to get rid of the pain, but it wouldn't go away. Even while eating the carrots, which I don't find disgusting, were hard to eat cause I really felt like i wanted to vomit. I decided that after one game of bowling I needed to leave cause I knew at least I would get dinner when I got home 90 mins later. When I got home Beth had a nice salad waiting for me. It had pear and lemon on top - it was good, but it was still something my mind and mouth had a hard time embracing. I also hate a plateful of vegetable. It was a beautiful and colorful medley of tomato, chard, & squash. It tasted very great. However I had to push through this. Each time I took a bite I wanted to gag - again I know it is a mind thing. I still can't believe I am putting myself through this! Will I ever get pass my mental block, even when my mouth thinks it tastes good. In the 45 minute process of eating dinner I held the food on my tongue to try to tell my brain to match what my tongue is experiencing. I am a big believer in renewing your mind, and this is one thing I hope occurs on this journey. You see I had to send my children away from the table today. I don't want them to see me struggle eating. They know I am eating differently but today I just couldn't do it with them around. Im not trying to uphold a certain strong image with them, trust me they have seen me fail and give up and learned life lessons in those, but today was that awful. I needed solidarity with my wife as I pushed through my last meal of the day. I finished it One last thing to note in the day., I think what Beth and I are both missing is a salty - flavorful taste. Beth doesn't like the recipes in the Eat to Live plan. We discussed possibly making changes, I haven't been thrilled with them but I really think its cause I have to get used to them. We didn't really make any kind of decision on what to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment